ATTENTION: not my usual type of post….this is my down straight opinion on a matter you should take into consideration!!!..Now: you may read on or simply go back!!

i’m going to ask you a simple question and you answer it with truthful honesty…what’s wrong with the world today?…..no seriously what is wrong….it’s falling apart and no longer is it appealing from what i’ve seen yesterday to be sure….you must wonder and think what am i blabbing about but here goes…

yesterday i was watching tv with my sisters and we were all gathered around and such…flipping the channels going from movie to shows to music channels…yes this was my study break …because i got fed up for a bit anywhoo back to the point…we watched MTV from awhile and let me tell you they compared to the channels in the middle east are PG 13 while the channels here are R rated…parental advisory seriously and anywhooo…so mtv was alright nothing illegal bs something was distrubing apparently robbie williams decided to pose as well a religious figure jesus and what is wrong with this dude seriously…….

so we change the channel to mazzika, melody, etc and we saw the shamefully, disgusting, people who really think that baring your body and singing lyrics like your a … to gain viewers…anywhoo…the ladies and men to be exact both fell from my eyes…is this what they want us to do…bare ourselves and gain fans and glamour….why not do something with your life that isnt degrading…but it dosent have to be that way if you focused more on singing than physical appearance and …. you know what i mean..bs this isnt what captured my attention not for a good reason.

well we come across this video clip for a male singer and guess what…?? his video clip shows him apparently “overdosing on drugs”…wallah whats wrong with “you” people…this is what we want our childrens to grow up watching….do something with this life dont destroy yourself and drug your surrounding with your “high” sense of life….anyways the singer drops his head on the glass containing the powder like drugs and well then he goes all crazy….what if a young toodler or a mere child watches that….what do you think your sparking on them…i am well educated in that area to know the good and bad and understand this bs that happening and to know right from wrong but they are children!!…how can you allow yourself to expose them to such a devasting way of life….yes get overdosed and sing like never before….may god be with you all…i think what the problem is that most of them are getting closer to the figment of living rather than thinking about their end and thanking god for all we have….

anyways…this is why i had quiet a fall out with watching tv…because they just show us things that are just….i know i have the remote control and can change what i dont like bs still dont you want to cleanse our life from people who think that living life requires the prerequisites of taking off …, acting …., and getting all the surgery that they can hold themselves too….

anyways tomorrow is my chemistry final….inshallah i’ll do my best and purgatory this is the last time i will say its a chemistry test, or etc..since you think thats the only class i ever mention having tests in….bs tomorrow is quite sad….my beautiful inspiring sister is heading back to …. and i’m gonna miss her and to top it off my father too is traveling same day and well…..i’m going to miss them dearly bs i still have others here to give me loving company ….. anways tell me how you see our world of television today ???…i hope my opinion didnt change your thoughts about me bs im being honest and have to say we should change this and that and etc…:) and my good how the last weeks i’ve been tooooo honest i guess incidents have told me to act real and disregard superificality….i am finally comfortable with telling everyone what i really think about…without censoring or making it pleasing for their ears….

think about it…tell me your thoughts!!..sorry for such a lonnnnnng post 🙂 i got caught up!

It’s better off this way. Yes we should part off embark on separate days. Our love is just dying, let’s face it, age brings back the pain. We used to find pleasure but all we seem to find is guilty eyes staring face to face. It’s oddly sad dont you think, it’s finally ending in such a depressing way!

Fine we both admitted our failures, yet you never seemed to show you cared. We breathed those sins together but all you found in me was regret and shame. I guess both of us find the hours ending, our minutes wont turn themselves into days. I wish I could tell you once and forever, our love was not to blame!

You thought I was a villian, trying to plot terms to set against you. You whispered in my ears words of endearment yet I heard the echo of resentment and lasting pain. You misunderstood the action, always seemed to push me far away. We are just growing old, in this devasting gruesome life…yet we chose each other on matters we’ve come to purposely misplace and erase.

I know I was a sinner, I never wanted to repent not even today. I know you heard my words, I realized I hurt you deliebrately but would you really blame the fool carelessly awakened by your touch? Be it that our life is a battlefield; your the fighter and i’m the blade. We are two and two together, but separate us and we will fail!

We still seem to enjoy the company of misery and hate. We will remain unthoughtful lovers to each other though our eyes hide away our care…. Let’s face it, no one understands this and that of us, we are merely lost souls waiting for the right day yet darling it’s far from today. We are just going to remain together, till a grave separates our fate… We are used up souls, spoiled by our vanity forsaken by this blade…lay it on your body, soul and heart and i will release my hungered pain…

i need to settle this steam and strip my anger it just cant stay hidden and masked… i need these few lines to express my utmost devastating feeling…its ripping my insides and strangling me… i need your words i need your answers but more than all i need your desolation…

i seek acceptation not rejection, i breathe and strife once for my being then for your seeing… why wont you just leave my unsettled heart drift away… let me hear its beat for the last time in your dying love i can do that you know i’ve mastered the plan…its not something hard i’ll teach you someday…

your whispering words were all i could hear, but your moving lips i didnt understand what you meant me to hear….begotten why have you no faith in me, why do you misjudge my likes…i am who i set to be…your constraining thoughts, actions destory me endlessly…ill never let you bring me down!

your some kind of soul…dont want happiness for anyone but yourself…dont you find my objection written on your wall… its a finale between me and myself. ill never let your words those abusive sounds make me sob into the night… i thought you were a soul worth hungering towards…but begotten you’ve misunderstood my standing and i shall to yours…i say once again,

Place. Silence. Time. Still. Love. Kills. Thoughts. Cold. Distance. Close…..

It s just when I go to sleep…your the first one who enevolpes my being…my heart is strangled in your core…of disaster, struggles and guilty pleasures.

Dearest i’ve dreamt of you while I was awake…I saw your image being dispensed in the flame….I saw your downfall…come to think of it it was just yesterday..

Unused tissues were my company when I felt you escaping me….darling the sobbing cries echoed in this dark lovable nest….treasured without and within the gray cement cheap bricks we stacked together to declare whose dying but lives longer with the pains from the past…

Letters were burned….feelings were tucked away beneath the blankets that were soft, pure and cleansed fabrics with red stiches that we…..

I am just praying for a bittersweet day when you be abused, distuniguished with depression because i’m fed up with it being always I who suffers the best.

End here, Tears Dry, Lips Smile, You Dissappear or Die.

Unknown. Whisper. Ends. Moves. Death. Love. Express. Warm. Closer. Gone…

why am i writing a story when i have an algebra test tomorow….i need to get some rest oh yes and tomorow i will be scored with pencils of the heart judged on something on a day i was stressed not myself….anywhoo inshallah it turns out for the best be it bad or good….

my days to come and stil am feeling sick and unwell

saturday: i have a history test (god save me) i cant miss that day in school cuz if i do ill be taking a *&%^ing hard test…..which happens to those that skip it but if i skipped it i would have a reason that being “dying trying hard to get out of bed but im so dizzy, feel like *$rfing and headache.”

sunday: i have a semi like final test in chemistry but though not the final those are in 2 weeks 🙁 help me…and also i have a real final in another class now what do you say….i need your time, mine has run out… 🙁 lend your minutes 🙂

moday-wednesday: quizes, tests, and damn toooo much to do in so little time

the days keep getting more stressful as i go along but inshallah everything that happens is for a reason and then come the end of the next 20 OMG 20 DAYS LEFT

sooooooo longggg
i cant wait…patience is running low
everything is running low

now i shall go about this day hitting the books and trying to understand the crap that i will be tested on next weeeek……….my life doesnt seem tempting does it 🙂

but i still feel —– and i hope i can get something done this weekend because am in no mood to stay up late in the night :O( studying my @** ooff

struggle, supress, strength, sense, since, sick, stumble, suprise, survive 😉 the s’s in my life

The below I dedicate to myself….Your Battlefield 😉 when all else fails refer to the below and you can make it past all those obstacles just believe and you can achieve 😉

Emily Dickinson
Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul. And sings the tune without the words, and never stops at all.

Aristotle
Hope is a waking dream.

Barbara Kingsolver
Hope is a renewable option: If you run out of it at the end of the day, you get to start over in the morning.

Anne Lamott
Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: you don’t give up.

Geoffrey Gaberino
The real contest is always between what you’ve done and what you’re capable of doing. You measure yourself against yourself and nobody else.

Marcus Garvey
If you have no confidence in self, you are twice defeated in the race of life. With confidence, you have won even before you have started.

William J.H. Boetcker
Your success depends mainly upon what you think of yourself and whether you believe in yourself.

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on another note: i sense i will be getting sick or ill come the next few days i just dont feel like myself lately…..stomachache 🙁 i hate being sick……………..:o(