I don’t think I exist in your world
&
You can’t understand what you do to me.
I can’t think.
I can’t speak.
I can’t hear.
& If I could,
I’d think of you, I’d speak three words,
& unfortunately,
I won’t be able to hear your voice.
Forget it.
Forget you.
It was never anything.
Don’t worry..
It will go away, give me a few days,
A month and a year.

….

Do you know what’s beautiful,
My realization, a distance.
I’m no longer blindfolded,
I can see.
I see right through you.
Sad yet true,
You were never really special.
And it’s sad that it took me this long,
To realize.
I see now.
I actually rather not.
Give them back.
I want the blindfolds back.
I need them.
I don’t wish to see.
Or Feel.

Do you know what’s beautiful,
My realization, the closer I get
the more steps you take
back,
until your distant.
You let go.
You never had a grip.
I pushed you.
Away.
Stay distant.
I’m letting you go…
So go.
I dont care.
I really don’t.
but i actually do.

Sad
But
Very
Beautiful.

So beautiful,
You know
My realization,
My truth,
It was never beautiful.

Così bella

It’s raining!

& I love walking in the rain .

& If it displeases you,

that’s soo fine with me…

i’m back now, & its for awhile…

miss(ed) me.

keep missing me ;*

It always turns out for the better, and today was simply not my day. You know, it doesn’t make any sense, but I guess that’s okay. It’s always okay.
Anyways stay safe and know that,
People change.

til then,

Yours Truly – tomorrow.

(soon! 24 hrs)

I’m not sane. Not now, or for the next interval of hours. I think I’m actually in the process of losing my mind. Factual evidence points to one thing, I’m going crazy and…well you won’t be needing to know the rest. Argh. I’m so tired, and I have so many to blame!!

I can’t take it anymore. I know it’s almost over, and I’m almost there but It would be a miserable ending – if it all goes for nothing. It will be a pathetic ending, if my hard work goes for nothing. Life. Life sucks, but 72 hours and everything concerning Life will once again be beautiful. Even you!

Anyways, It’s going to be another of those Sleepless nights. I won’t sleep. I wouldn’t be able to rest if I wanted to. I can’t close my eyes. I’m too agitated, and too infatuated with … Bs, I have no patience, and I can’t waste those hours sleeping. I’m so close but so far from where I should be. I’m ….hmm, I guess I love you.

72 hours. I haven’t even packed.

I wish…for,…

Friday, come now!!!!!

Snow fell for me, and I fell for it. Incredible. I am in love.

My spirits were high, I walked in it for hours. I touched it. Felt it on my lips. It was sensational. Quiet. So thrilling. It was my lonely walk of beautiful. I was enchanted. It brought out a mixture of feelings that I never knew existed – or could ever exist.

It is still snowing. It has not stopped. But my spirits are not high, no – not anymore. Not as before. It isn’t because of the snow. Or that, or this. It is because of something, or someone, or perhaps them both. Well I found out something and if it is true…

It is sad, just heartbreaking.

But you appreciate Life.

And, the snow, it helps.

Love.

I’d rather have yesterday.

Is that okay?