I am defeat. The coffee is French. I told him in German. I feel red. Sensual eyes are giving. I amuse you in moments. Unforgettable. Maybe, you know the feeling. I have a feeling, light your cigarette. Smoke it. I will watch. Flames. Gently, start the fire.

Ashes.

I whispered softly, defeat me. I need. He listened. The sky outside is vulnerable, and the coffee is cold. You have a heart. Mine. Delicate. Silence the echo in the room. Defeat is. Let the ashes land on my dress. It’s raining outside. Smoke. Exhale the magnitude of your worries. Inhale my defeat. I will gladly smile, and answer your question casually.

Yes,

I

am

okay.

I am only tempted.

I will tell you everything.

My words are black, my lips are blue, and last month, the last two months, I discovered that my feet while in the water, submerged – a rush of a feeling reached my heart.

Toes ice cold.

Heart ice cold.

He said, he said it’s a blood clot. He said that redness, the color of blood, my tenderness. He said that the sensual color of red satin draping my bust and waist, he said he would. He said. I said.

You are strong.

Step back.

Passion escalates.

Pain elevates.

I want you.

I wanted you.

My weakness. 

I want you to know.

I wanted you to know.

Four, two, zero. 

Undress. Undress all the emotions clothing me. Let the gown fall to the floor. Let it drape the floor. Wrinkled. My eyes are wrinkled. My lips are half bitten.

One, three, five.

I want you. I want you to know. I am growing accustomed to living naked. Shivering, I am shivering. I was living in a month, and pain was a subscript. 

I was living, and I was alive. 

I want you to escalate. 

I want you to touch. Visit my scars. Push a finger on my wounds, and feel a tenderness. Pain is not absent. For years, I was always concentrated on knowing. I thought I knew. But this year, it painted a new color of living, and with it, I grew.

Eleven, I thought.

I thought,

I thought that glue could hold two lives together, instead glue can hold two skins in proximity. I am complete. I am complete. I am completely on a new plan, and now I really do not have a plan.

It is all uncertain.

Time to escalate.

Escalate my pain.

I can handle anything.