yesterday i came home from a hectic day at school and curled up in my cozy, soft bed , put the ac on low and made my own ice age….anywhoo i was hoping to close my eyes for a couple of hours but i ended up sleeping till 1 am when i went to bed at 5 pm talk about well rested. NOT!

so when i woke up at 1 am…..i missed out on dinner thank god they were still awake so i asked for some dinner too lazy to go make myself something tasty and when i get my dinner….it tastes 🙁 so i ended up eating brownies and drinking mountain dew……sounds unhealthy it is.

so i had so much time to waste too hyper and no sleep came to me so i check the safat site browse blogs etc….and then i decide to open the paint program that all of you i believe have on the pc….anywho and i begin to doodle and make somethings out of nothing….look at them closely they’re faces in most of the creations just concentrate baby and you’ll see i wish i could explain my creations but its hard when i type it has to be all said…..oh well inshallah one day when all goes well hell maybe i will make a gallery of my artwork 🙂 am thinking to much of my stupid drawings they arent master material just crappy anyways…what else is new?/!/do you like this form of art or stick to doodles, and portrait drawings?@?

look for faces……faces…….faces……….anything that has eyes ears nose lips mouth cuz babe i incorportated all of that in all my abstract work all done in paint ohhhh how i love that program….:P

and i just finished watching one tree hill season finale and let me tell you…..am shocked….and addicted to the song they played in the climax of the eposide by led zeppelin-baby im gonna leave you…….it’s currently playing replay on my itune list ooof am gonna lose myself in its tune for just one day and then simply let it go…sad

First of all if you are not fond of continuations…..dont bother reading the below, if you wish not to read about pain, dont read the following but your battlefield kindly wishes you read her short jibberish words and give her feedback on how to improve and what you liked :*.

.………….May 2 1897………….Session 1

…………..Recording………videotape 180 minutes:-

Twenty six year old woman settles herself on the black sturdy leather couch, takes a deep agonizing breath bracing herself and looks into the camera. Her body is covered with scars, bruises and yet her eyes unmistakenably glisten some sort of feeling. Though her skin seems abused, and tainted she still looks like a beauty with the most alluring face seen throughtout the study.

[Dr. Destructivalle adjusts his spectacles, feels her undefinable presence and then gentley asks her, “What ales you my dear, please tell me and stop whenever it gets uncomfortable.”]

Takes in a deep steady breathe

You see ever since that day, I can no longer see, my eyes were or are the shade of the deep icy sea as mummy used to say. Ohh how i miss her and without her feel like an overused bottle. Easily dispensed without a mere glimpse from their eyes.

My eyesight…. I was blinded by something, someone and somewhere though my memory dosent serve me well these days. But I remember…..I remember watching that handsome man, the most beautiful man my blue eyes every saw. I felt pleasured to be present near him, but then…..

Her icy blue eyes thirst in the water, softly and ever so gentley, tears trickle on her cheeks.

Just yesterday I saw him lure his victim laying…..he laid her mutilated body upon the muddy sand, and…and his fingers still bore her heart’s blood. I couldnt help myself, I softly wepted for her, how can he do such a thing?!.

You see I am an observer, and quite a great listener….every relationship I ever has ended in the gutter because I was too perfect, the ideal woman, ms goody two shoes until I met him. He understood my intentions, and well he decided that I might like his affections laid on me. Am being incoherent only because at that time and still that same scene replays through my mind.

Pauses…..contemplating her thoughts, uses the kleenex that was folded in her lap to wipe those stinging tears.

I wished it was me, how sad can I get…..my last wishes were to be destroyed by a strong, cynical man whose pleasures seemed to always be more imporatnt. Maybe it was just the medications playing their role in my system, making me visual unseen events but if you were to ask me how this man looks like, i’d say ” 6 feet tall, musclar overpowering tan body that looked like he worked endlessly under the heat of the sun lifting timber and looked handsome as he sweated. His dark hazel eyes, ohhhh those eyes could foreshadow anyones doom…..but damn, he never looked my way until the last endless moments. That is for my benefit because I just witnessed his unholy criminal act!

All is quiet for a few minutes that seemed like endless hours and then she spoke in the softest whisper Dr. Destructivalle ever heard.

I can still hear her faint screams secluding the isolated beach. I saw him grabbing her, molding her body in his hands and then he began to slowly ………..

to be continued…..

short story by me inshallah after the next 5 days of chaos are over for me i will have time to continue and create a continuation….feedback is always appreciated by … thanks for stopping by…..each and every one of you 😉 love

i love babies…..they are the love of my life forver and always……they brighten up my days especially a little someone special i adore and luv wuv so much……baby baby sister :* who although finds devious ways to get me angry i can never get mad at her for long cuz ….we always end up laughing hysterically always up to some mischief……

so do you love babies??……and dont let the barfing on you bit scare you, or burping in the face upset you, or sneezing on you change your view about babies……not even their smelly diapers and let me tell you through my teenage years am an expert in the entire field me loves them so much …..ohhh how i adore every little baby……an idea came across why not make a zoo of babies…hmmmm i found my calling have you….hhehehe no one will understand this bit but inshallah when the time comes all will be known throughout my posts 😛

am excited tomroow is the half day thingy coming home early from school and going have lunch outside with my loving family, and go shoppping :o) then the same day am going to toastmasters and inshallah everything turns out well but am hoping to get at least more than 5 hours of sleep :-)….

second picture is dedicated to purgatory why you ask……i found the towel creator inventor senorita she’s sleeeping sounding on her creations…………….hehhehe or maybe its a he..:P anywhoo me gots to goes see yah later

Love,

Your Battlefield :*

P.S those babies are cute but have no clue who they are :p still love them 🙂

Dear Kitty,

last night, i couldnt fall asleep for no reason at all…..it angered me and this morning i realized the essence of going to bed early…..a fresh start but dear me that didnt happen :(.

anywhoo…so i was tossing and turning and i have the AC on low making my room sort of cold….not too cold cause hahha in their dreams if i awake with that sort of temperature :)…..anyways i decided to waste some time do this and that reviewed for a test then i felt too tired for that sort of reading so what did i turn to ….my library i’ve borrowed books from my beautiful jacqui but i already read them all so no point in rereading the books and didnt want to distrub her so….. what do i stumble across….yes your rite (The Diary of Anne Frank) am still in the midst of reading it just a couple more pages left but wow i enjoyed it. What more can i ask of a way to put what am learning in history about World War 1 then read a diary of a thirteen year old who witnessed all this grotesque, sad, painful visions that no soul should every witness…….and why ban the book, it just adds to the unjustice !!

so after a couple of hours of reading, i get up put the AC on low low low so its the next ice age in my bedroom…….and let me tell you thats the best way to fall asleep. Curled up, tucked beneath two covers ohhhhh it brings back memories…..i should go back to sleep now but not yet unfortunately i have to cramp for a chemistry quiz oh well.

and this entry was going to be related to writing in arabic msn slang thingy……am an amateur in it and thus i find it hard to write and let me tell you am a teenager i should excel in this but thats not how it went with me……i was going to ask how one goes about writing in this unqiue way but say no more……..finally i learned now all is well for a while :P….tooodles leave me a message in the arabic slang so i can reply…..excuse my language and bear with me hhehehe :*

Your Battlefield

okay so on monday or earlier this week i submitted this artwork thingy for school contest or whatever you like to call it…….and am hoping inshallah INSHALLAH my creative design is chosen for the cover…..i believe that those hideous designs that no one will ever understand hopefully will have their glorious moments and shine cuz i spent hours drawing and i finished how many ink pens on this creation….and maybe if all goes well i shall scan it and for your eyes to see 😉

but something bothered me……what would you do or whats your reaction if a friend of yours tells you i dreamt your not chosen…!!! okay i believe that nobody should put anyone down and well if something shouldnt be said it shouldnt be said at all…..i wouldnt tell you i dreamt of you not getting this and that and then blurt it to your face……. i dont appreciate “such” happenings.. so in the end if it was meant to be i will still be cheerfull and happy that at least i had the guts to draw something on the paper and that in all i loved the joy i experienced creating it and achieved a sense of undefinable satisfaction……..am talking nonsense huh…:P

and speaking of dreaming i dreamt of someblah blah blah and it was spoooky like seriously scary out of my mind statement of that sort….:P but that shall remain unknown and wont be discussed……the picture above summarizes my reaction………woooowwww talk about freaky yet ……

well i do believe this week the results will be announced……till then am anxious and hope i dont get my hopes up tooo high…..shall remain grounded and then either vent or bloat about it :Op well i finished that book NOBODY NOWHERE and i recommend and dont recommend it…..its too sad and you’ll cry some tears but i think i shall stick to the novels that dont upset me but then again life is full of misfortune, nobody knows anybody and only when you read that book you;ll understand………

what makes me sad is that this monday May 1…..is a half-day at school hence we only go for the first half…..hehehe sounds weird like a game or something well we only stay till 11 30 anywhoooo whats devasting is this is our last break, holiday or day offf………*in a corner screaming* oh well everything has an ending….. but what is annoying me is why couldnt they make it on wednesday and just give us the entire day off…..:O whoever makes the rules should be more……… leave it at that :O7 but am looking forward to the toastmasters thingy and i must begin to cramp for the thingy thats coming up in less than 7 days…….”no one has yet been intrigued to figure out what the hell i have been blabbing about down to go….” i have a talking fever huh simply go on and on and on…..well then lats :*

yes and finally i will leave you with this painting by van gogh……isnt it just beautiful in its own essence maybe now your thinking i have no taste in paintings or whatever but if you extract it and look deeply into it you’ll figure out why i am in love with it….:”)

well apparently i have the reading fever, yup its true all because of a blogger out there you might know who i am talking about….due i feel like mentioning names 😛 it’s purgatory….my goodness always posting books i decided why not post a book am currently reading and actually just began it yesterday….i read it in english not this language i think it is russian maybe not…:p

anywho, its a sad, painful story, of an autistic child who grows up being abused by her parents, being considered deaf, naive, moron, phsychologically challenged, etc……its a true story of the life of “Donna Williams”…..and its written by her so this is a female author …. 😛 so those who dont like reading female writers work…..i do not recomment it :), so far the book is quite excellent in how everything is expressed, easy to read, but quite sad and full of ….pain…

what i like about it is there is such emotional powerful poetic verses written by Donna herself, and am deciding on posting some of her heartbreaking words…..

well if you don’t find this book intersesting might i recommend a different type of book one not most will enjoy but its extremely helpful and trust me thanks to my father recommending it and giving me the books…..here are the titles “The 48 laws of Power“……okay so the title sounds lame and study like think u’d be taking in school but hell its amazing well written and easy to read….and trust me am only seventeen and his words are helping shape my life making me more powerful…..”The Art of Seduction“….dont let the title fool you and think its that kind of book nope its not its part two of the 48 laws……these books are easy to read and can be read any time any day…..no need to finish it just take the ones that will beg to make a difference in you…..they have achieved that for me….:P

anywhoo sunday me went to this thingy called English Day in KU…..okay it was beautiful, acting was amazing but 2 plays bored me to hell and the last part where whatcha call it the lady presented awards and things well she screamed into the microphone and gave me the most horrible headache which wont go away…..today’s weather didnt help either still feeling the pain….and sleep wont cure me…..me no likes to take aspirin what shall i do :O9????

i like havent posted for awhile…..which makes me sad and depressed this place is a where i can explode, vent , rant and be myself throughout the days of my life….but my life has been quite frantic and busy of the late which bums me out and depresses me even moreee…. let me tell you what has happened in these couple of days….

well on monday…was most depressing day, my goodness in class i was looking closely at everyone and i noticed how all of us have given up hope, we are relaxing and with sadness ….and stressed from schoool my goodness from this day i like have already tests to take next week i guess the teachers dont want to take a breather…..and its also devasting how this is our last break….well hehehe we are like the mother of all schools that has so many vacations and when we dont have anymore we feel deprived nothing or no more vacations till june…… am sobbing quitely 🙂 but toastmasters was fun and great but bummer was i didnt go up on stage and i was looking forward to it….i got frightened and well you imagine the rest

on tuesday which is just a couple of hours ago….yup am staying up late till morning doing school stuff well before i get into this the day was easy going, laid back no important things to do today….oh and now i just remebered i have a memorization thingy in arabic yup we have to like read the poem out loud and oooooooof i still havent studied for that test thats in a couple of hours meaning today wednesday…. well as i am writing this am wonderin no one wants to know this but hell i dont care am going to continue 😉 so i spent the hours after i came home sleeping for 4 hours to get me dosed up on energy so i can stay up till dawn and then shower, get dressed for school and blah blah then come home and sleep….. have decided i wont stay till freaking 4 3o pm at school for niether oil painting thingy or the sat prep class….am tooo worn out and i have other priotries and even the prep class is useless i would do better on my own studying for it than at school……useless i say…..

i feel relieved that i finshed the algebra project i complained and was about to ooooffff all because of the break i forgot the information we learned and just yesterday i remembered the material so the project was soooo easyyy but tooook quite awhile to do because in his class im know for my creativity in presenting it and i had to write neatly, graph a million graphs with colors and create a kick ass title page…..got to say this last minute feeling is amazing when your finished….and i just completed this english crap that is related to my history project which is all like over used and extra dooods that are unnecessary….waste of my precious time and the teachers but got to do it….so that is done am 3/4 done with the things due in a couple of hours whats left is studying for that test……………………….

have you noticed that all my paragraphs are like missing periods……….ohhh am in no mood for being ms grammarian.

HAVE YOU YET REGRETED ENTERING MY BLOG…..AM JUST LIKE RANTING AND VENTING OFF THE STEAM OF MY DAYS……..i cant wait till this evening when i am going to lie on my cozy soft bed and dream of the unthinkable stressfree beautiful dreams……am anxious but now i must stop typing and start studying…………………..well i guess all or most of you are dreaming soundly this minute while im awake but this evening we will be doing the opposite i will be sleeping soundly and you well you go figure…..

i need to make a better post but this is acceptable for today…..! till then your battlefield is sad, mad, angry all the bad emotions to think but thank god for everything and inshallah everything clears up cant wait till these 96 days are over….school will be out. :*

your battlefield dedicates this to you…….yes you…..yes the one reading this…n then leaving a comment.

my first ever attempt drawing anime…..dosen’t look like one but hell i love especially the eyes gotta admit to myself never knew i had this in me….ability to draw anime.. what do you say love or hate it? and what emotion do those eyes express to you?

posts are getting shorter and shorter, words no longer spill out of me easily anymore…reason is lesson learned.

brightside is that i will be heading off to the beach tomorrow and i dont want to leave it, though the beach here isnt fascinating its just soothing and beautiful in its nature and i need to recharge, reload myself because i’ve lost something….nothing appeals to me anymore am not myself lately need to change that….