I Wish I Could

Mar
14
2006
Posted at: 12:22 am
Filed under : Uncategorized
Comments (2) »


So how about this little creation, nice or just ugly, first time i ever draw a doodle of a guy, how do u think he is..and what about their facial expressions, are they to your liking or are they just dull and feel unrealistic..i would love your feedback….. So i just finished doing my english homework, it was so much just for one class, i still have to do another class’s homework and then finally study for a test. too much to do, but hopefully i’ll finish in time so i can go to sleep by 1 30 am. i am so tired and parished from my outing today.

well today school day was a half-day, we went to school and then came home in the afternoon at about 12 usually we arent let out until 2 3o. though it was a carefree day, it ended up being really busy, too many things to do . i could have made it a carefree happy day if only i did the homework the day it was assigned but then again what is the essence of life without some stress and blah blah blah, well i dont know i definitely dont regret not doing my homework early because i am odd and i dont know. i sense that the information sticks in my mind and i will remember it and again blah blah blah. so today i went to this thingy somewhere to do something, going with my pops, lil lil sis and jacqui. i had a nice time, browsing and collecting all these brochures and what are the other things called, i duno. if you are curious to know what it was, it was a fair for colleges, and thats probably boring to you but i was excited and those people are so kind and sweet not like what you see daily in hehehe i wont say anymore.

i should stop talking and get back to work so i can sleep and i need to wake up in a few hours for another day at school, my god how many more days till spring break, hehehe, like about 9 more days till zzzzzzz….. infinte and undistrubed.

i’m in love with james blunt, not him but his songs and his beautiful voice, and u know what i will end up doing, i am going to probably listen to his songs contiously and by the weekend i will find someone else to get all hyped up about and then again discard their songs, because i give myself too much of this and that and in the end i am unsatisfied, i should leave some room for more and not fill myself up. i write tooo much and my words are my thoughts that are all so blurred and i have too many at the same time. endless they are.

“i wish i could surrender my soul, see a lie that burns within my needing, i wish i chose darkness from cold, i wish i screamed out loud instead of found no meaning i guess its time i run for awhile to find comfort in pain and old pleasures are the same, hiding my true shape.”-james blunt… i kind of altered his lyrics to my liking i didnt follow his words exactly i added and deserted some 😛 ooops i always do that, because nothing is to my liking 😀 so i have to subsitute things here and there………..

Something To Be….

Mar
10
2006
Posted at: 4:53 pm
Filed under : Uncategorized
Comments (4) »

so which one is the best of these three, i did these drawings on paint….. so i’d like your feedback…and tell me should i stop or continuing posting these little creations i have made… do they bore you out

neeways, am quite lazy to do any schoolwork better yet the homework i have for tomorow…i’ll figure that out on my own. so i felt devasted and confused this morning and for most of the day however my precious inspirational someone motivated me and gave me hope which i am lacking this moment but insahallah what i want will happen…. so i guess thats all i have to think about now, what i want to do in my life though i am dazed and stumped i will figure it all out inshallah as soon as i like, because i simply am what i want to be…tell me has this happened to you once in a far long time, im talking about the hectics and emotional states of stress that’s yet to take its course before senior year for me..well till then and with a sad smile and crazy thoughts of .. 🙂

the words in the drawings are all part of some lyrics from here and there….not my words at all just expressed the emotions i was going for…thats all i know from my confusion this moment

Tell Me Why Is It So Hard…

Mar
9
2006
Posted at: 11:26 am
Filed under : Uncategorized
Comments (2) »

am going to draw her, and that is final, but i still have to show it to the teacher and see if he approves of the lighting hitting the face, ooof after endless searching i have found what i was looking for- so tell me peeps what do you think of her, would you like to see the masterpiece finished after i oil paint her, i would and inshallah it will turn out well. now i need to search for a background to accompany this lady and the light has to enter the picture from the same direction it is hitting the lady so i must again go back and find what i am searching for..bas inshallah the teacher approves this lady was not my first choice but inshallah she is the last choice, cause im dying for this heartbreak of choosing the one and then he declines and says the lighting doesnt work, ooof it pisses me off but ..what are your opinions about her will she do?…

away from that and to this, my god i went to bed yesterday at 6 3o pm and hehehe didnt wake up till 8 oclock this morning, i slept like a baby and dreamed of ….. beautiful things, i love to dream and better yet love to sleep. sleep relaxes you and allows you for but a moment to experience the untrue, unreal, unthinkable things you can ever …imagine…. oh well. we can all dream cant we but i dont get how some people sleep and wake up without dreaming a single thing. i love having dreams so when i wake up and see that i dreamt of nothing, i will feel like something is missing, how would you feel if you slept and awoke without a dream?….nightmares arent that bad though, they heighten up your senses and give you senstational thrills, but they only come once in how many years ?..bummer .. 🙂

well what am i blabbing about, in a bit will go somewhere and just maybe, after my hopes were let down yesterday just maybe we will go to the beach and everything will seem beautiful and breathtaking, i guess we all want just at times for those feelings to arise, i love the beach and wish that when i grow old and become whatever it is that i will, i wish to have a house beside the shore, so far away from the noise of the peeps and the smell of pollution only near the beautiful, tranquile, breathtaking beach and listen to the birds chirpping (those that survived the bird flu :P) and listen to the shore waves come and go and place my toes in the cold water and just relax and clear my mind. wouldn’t you love to live near the beach, and experience all of this ?…..

been thinking alot about the future, but i am stuck in the present, i wonder about this and that but i should take a stand on things, am i right, or should i just let life takes its pass, i wish for all these things to happen only i know…., but well i had a talk with someone who asked what i wished to study, but i said to them i had a dream of being this “………” however i know its but a dream and i lack those skills to become that sense math is not my forte and i have awoken from the dream to see the truth, so thats no longer in the picture for me never can or will be, so i said i would like to be this “……….” in which i help people, and feel the essence of love, help them see life and love it, i will be earning far better things than money could every buy, i will become such a better person and this would only require patiences, which at times i lack but am working at it, i would in this field be working in hospitals which is something quite i duno, what am i blabbing about i better shut up for now cause i dont know where these words were supposed to take you to understand, i just dont know wouldnt that be a better way of expressing my thoughts, i just dont know!…. and then this person told me i could take upon another dream that i would and will do grand things in since i have inherited it from their talents (this someone is a family member if you still didnt get the hint :P) so its this “…” always had it in me, all i need is to nuture and grow and i could then be working with them in somwhere and travel so many places to go to places that are labelled somewhere and etc, this would be a beautiful experience but i guess know i know i am undecided. i must come up with plans for all these things and sit down and tell myself yes am not crazy to talk to myself but say now which is the one you know you can do and be a (#*$ ing great person doing it…… i better do that and find out just what …… oh i should shut up now. i blab to much on paper though utter a few words in person….

😀 thanks for reading my ….. and hope i kept your mind conflicted and confused knowing not what the hell i was speaking heheeh i guess its better to be misunderstood till then and with smiles and cheers 😛

Click Me and READ IT

Mar
6
2006
Posted at: 4:21 pm
Filed under : Uncategorized
Comments (5) »

haven’t you guessed what i love already?
Black & White Photographs
;P

Dear fellow bloggers,

whomever you are and wherever your from i want your opinion or better yet, tell me who your favorite actor, actresses, model, etc is. one choice please….. i need your feedback asap possibly by tonite because i’m starting this oil painting workshop and i’m dazed and confused on whose protrait i want to draw. i have a person in mind but i want to see what you fellow bloggers have. i prefer you make it a female because i can draw their protraits more realisticly and make them look surreal rather than males. however i’m always up for a challenge, so if u give me a male actor i will think about it, but please comment. i need your comments this one time. just this once. thank you

neeways away from that and to this, today was a great beautiful amazing and what more characteristics can i add, let’s just say that staying up till 4 am in the morning studying for chemsitry paid off cause i got a …..% and that makes me so proud teacher even used it as theee @n$w

well i am so excited about the oil painting workshop finally i can enhance my artisitic abilities which i believe i possess this is but my opinion. ooh i’m getting the jitters and can’t wait till wednesday when it begins and will be on every wednesday. let’s just say that wednesday’s are going to be my forte of the week (can i even use that in this sentence) well i’m excited so who cares about my mistakes.

i want to make my blog artistic and pleasing to the eyes, i want to make a different template i guess i better ask jacqui to help me and also mee need to create a nice picture to use with my nickname. oooooh how wonderful this week has turned out to be, i am hoping this weekend i will again go to the beach, i fell in love with it and believe that nothing can tear me apart from it.

“Won’t You Come Again ?….”

Again But Not The Same This Time

Mar
6
2006
Posted at: 2:27 am
Filed under : Uncategorized
Comments (1) »

I WANT THIS….. AND NOTHING MORE

WHERE DO YOU WANT TO BE

WHEN LIFE BRINGS YOU DOWN

AND DROWNS YOU COLD

TIRES YOUR SOUL

AND BURIES YOUR CORSPE?

Lost In My Thoughts

Mar
2
2006
Posted at: 1:41 am
Filed under : Uncategorized
Comments (2) »

Different situations that you have spurred (you…who? i dont even know…):-

“You felt no pain, anguish or grief as you looked at what you done with me. You crushed me with your presence, injured me with your heart, allowed yourself to get the better of me.”

“No not really, i was just making you sense the dreams you know will bring lies to yourself, open your eyes girl, look at the downside and you’ll understand what i’m trying to tell you.”

“Forget what i said, love dosen’t exist, at least not in that heart of yours, you want nothing for me, just all for you i guess i have now seen through that facade you created. Could you do me a favor, thats the least you can do, walk away from me. Leave my sight. I never really wanted to fully comprehend my emotions, they were all in a blur, you outsmarted me this time. But i guess, hope and need there not be a next time.”

“Nothing will make you feel heartless unless you accomplish what you wanted and longed to have. Understand the unthinkable, realize the untrue, forget the lies, and deminish those fears, live life tonight and forget about tomorrow. Die today instead of long for tomorrow.”

“You and I, why are they the most used up words, never in the right context we all long to hear. You never know.., You and I will never work..Your just not right, forget it and move on…you and i undefined,…

“Why do roses die, why do people cry, why do you listen when theirs nothing to hear, why do you leave when i sense you near, why do people lie when they know they bring deceit to those who care not for them, not for anyone but themselves.????”

What am i saying here, even i dont know, just the words seemed to keep themselves flowing and taking a soul of their own. Well, i ended up not going to school :D, i wanted to go to this play but i got ill, and oh well guess it was not meant to be. Nothin else new except i had the most dosage of sleep anyone can get, i slept far too long, which was not a great feeling when you awake, but at least it helped me feel better and i dont know, made me drift off to somewhere…. well enough of this and that. i better go to bed, its like omg 2 30 and i have to wake up early, oh well. :p :yawn:

Mrs. Brightside

Feb
28
2006
Posted at: 8:45 pm
Filed under : Uncategorized
Comments (2) »


it’s official that today’s start of the day was like yesterday, however it’s just the entire household overslept, no alarm clock woke me up, maybe i forgot to switch it on, but such a great experience. i enjoyed the day and smiled through all the troubles i faced. want to know what? guess you dont but i will tell you,
(a) nobody woke me for school, but i woke the others just before we could end up late. but i swear i felt so refreshed and happy with what happened
(b) so i take me time as usual getting dressed,eating breakfast brush,shower, but guess what i almost put the shampoo i use for my hair on my toothbrush instead of toothpaste. i smiled like hell thank god i noticed before it was too late and i would have made the saying true, “wash your mouth with soap”in arabic i duno what i’m saying but bare with me
(c) pops drives us to school, i have a test first thing in chemistry, but i feel composed, definitely happy and smiling even when we can be late. i tell him to take his time, saying its such a beautiful morning nothing can ruin it.
(d) i almost twisted my ankle when i got out of the car to go to school, hint :crossing the street but hahah i laughed like hell to what would’ve and could’ve happened if …
(e) everything went well at school, i was awake and understood everything why cause i was well rested and slept like a baby. then came home and enjoyed a nice nap.
(f) before i could however have my great nap to again further allow me rest and relaxation for a bit, i discovered, that i somehow i got sick, (never knew can happen within a day):P but i did and still am, i have a cough, sniffles, my throat is sore as hell, and suffering from a stomach ache. but still
before i slept i said “such a beautiful and NOTHING will ruin it” not even being sick.
(g) all that’s left to do know is study for my test tomorrow and memorize this thing for another class. come to think of it i duno maybe if i dont feel well in the morning, i’ll ask parents if i can stay home. but i niether feel the pressure to study for this test cause its inshallah going to be simple.
(h) so how was your day compared to the one i suffered today? but again i am smiling and enjoying while it last because these days come once in every few weeks, months, etc, enjoy my post and inshallah i have no grammar mistakes to those who hate seeing mistakes.
(i) i love this day, this hour, this life, and just everything and i luv LuLu baby sis who without her life will never be the same and this precious, n i dont know how i would survive.

cough….cough….sniffle….sniffle. come to think of it i should eat a strepcille or however its spelled for the sore throat and and and i’m repeating words. heheh. but enjoying the day and inshallah i see a bright everlasting great day tomorrow. i hope i feel better though cause i’m going to a play which i hope i feel up to going for …

ps. any sis’s reading this should think of (a)keeping a distance so i dont get you sick (b) and i duno why am i always like the first to get a cold in this household and at times and eventually spreads it to everyone heheheh oh well, i’m always to blame huh ? thats just the essence of life and being the middle child. 😛

“See what you go through, with bleeding eyes. Got what you came for when hate is blind. You told me not to lie”-nothingface

Hell For Me What About You?

Feb
27
2006
Posted at: 7:52 pm
Filed under : Uncategorized
Comments (7) »

first of all my day has started off wrong and most likely will end that way.

1. went through this day with only one hour of sleep. then had to go
to skool

2. felt sleepy all day, through all the classes but was awake to
listen to the crap

3. had apparantely 3 tests i only knew 2 but mysteriously the third
was cancelled

4. test one hamadallah easy but TRICKERY TREAT all i have to say

5. test two, after it i had a writers cramp who wouldn’t after
writing an essay for 1 hr 30min

6. comes lunch and break at skool, didnt have time to even compose
myself for the hell to come

7. algebra class, i couldnt get it, couldnt follow through with just
one hour of sleep couldnt would you have made it? at least i was
awake but didnt get anything coming out of the teachers mouth

8. comes lunch time in school, just found out that we have homework
and a test in this class, me forgot that notebook so how do
homework, must ask for book. eventually does it

9. comes the next class, memorization, ok, i knew this was going to
happen, i memorize and get it done, finally one more class to go

10. class with the mysterious test we supposedly have then teacher
cancels it the nevre of her. but thank god cause i didnt know we
had one. oh well even the homework i did in break she didnt
check, useless ooooof utterly pissed i am

11.on the way home, i thought we were going to run over a cat so i
instinctively put me hands on my eyes but that was a scare my
sister driving laughed at me, she was no where near that stupid
cat. ooooof what more can go wrong. still not done ranting here

12. well i decide to sleep to compose myself and probably awake on
the right side of the bed figuratively speaking. didnt happen
unfortuanately. excuse my spelling and grammar to lazy to correct
it.

13. i have to do a lab, almost maybe done but ooooh the hell im
suffering

14. i have 2 tests tomorrow so i need to study.

15. i hope this cycle doesnt repeat itself tomorrrow

16. so how was your day compared to mine.

17. I MISS THE WEEKEND

P.S school today all my classes were the chore ones, why couldnt they have been my electives i would not have cared and ranted like this. oooooooooooffff

but all in all, without day’s like these, wouldn’t life be boring, but i thank god and am smiling, because i can make it. well then, gotta go back to studies and inshallah the weekend i can say something far from the subject of schoool.

ONLY thing letting me survive this day is SHEWANTSREVENGE songs and their lyrics which are the antidote to me pain. :O

Dont Lose Any Sleep Tonite

Feb
25
2006
Posted at: 9:46 pm
Filed under : Uncategorized
Comments (4) »

So you turned your back when you saw me again, because of my response … Ofcourse i want nothing to do with you honey, have you seen yourself lately. Take a minute and look into the mirror, not to check yourself out but to ascertain the image you inflicted in my heart. Your vain, superficial, only up for what’s going to do grand things for you. Walk away because you stole my heart, it’s going to end up bruised from your undying lies.

You see the drive i took down that lane, cleared my thoughts for but a few moments. Little did i know that you will be the death of me, by far you dont see. So i said my thoughts were clear, but my eyes were all glistening with tears softly cascading down my cheeks. Those tears were cries of loathe towards you and you see, i was all the while thinking about you. But i never loathed you, all i had in me was love and undefinable passion. But you wanted to destroy me before i got any closer, am i right?

But i never saw you coming, i never saw your eyes, i never listened to your scream as you watched me die. So was it me who was killed in this car crash or was it you. You’ve clouded up my thoughts and made me delusional. Of all the scenerios that could have been, we could have had it all, love, hope and dreams together as one, but you were written to be the death of me.

From my grave, i am cursing you and at the same time wishing i could tell you that i love you, cause i guess i never had the chance to. You never gave me a moment to speak, you were always on a subject far away from then notion of my being. So i send now to you a whisper of saying “someone falls to pieces sleeping all alone, someone kills the pain, spininig in the silence, finally drifts away.”

So i guess i’ve gotten what i always to see you in pain, at least now you can understand the pain i endured from your hands. This was never meant to be, never actually happened, you never noticed me, so how can you be the death of me. But to set everything straight, nothing lasts for ever, not even your vainty and selfishness. You got the picture haven’t you, that people only find pain in your pleasures. … when were you ever going to change that when you saw my demise infront of your eyes. i guess i might have be the pill to all your lies, i might have caused some fixation that will change your life.

But why could’nt i live to see you this way, i guess what i’m trying to say is i don’t want to see you in this state of mind and , “when you look back now was it special? Or was it nothing but anecdote that you can tell now and then, i delude myself if i was worth it, even though from the begining i could see exactly how it would end…” and now your living the joyful life, gotten married and got kids, but why is it that everynight you get a nightmare of ….., i guess thats the message i’m sending to you, even though you left me, or i left you, you’ll never get rid of me quite easily. cause i sitll couldn’t stop myself from falling in love.

I hope my story was intruging and i duno got you thinking, PS. Ii love my “JACKIE” till love tears us apart. kiddin but i love her and all of you probably have the same love for her, but mine will always be unconditional.and hah of the same blood 😛 … beat that. the quotation marks were from 2 songs those were not my words, but the rest are all dodo’s word, a nickname i was given by someone out there who never concentrates for any of me posts. . 😛

More Than One

Feb
25
2006
Posted at: 1:17 pm
Filed under : Uncategorized
Comments (5) »

another creation from the hands of me…. nothing is new except their are too many deadlines i have to do so many things for monday and time is of the essence as they say. so i guess i better stop typing and start doing something more productive. i miss prison break their arent any new eposides and i cant wait to see what happens. other than that, nothing at all has changed except everything and then again isnt change something to look forward too? maybe not. 😛 till then and happy national day to the beloved kuwait ;p

Run Out Of Words To Say

Feb
24
2006
Posted at: 9:07 pm
Filed under : Uncategorized
Comments (2) »


would you like to live in black and white or colors…. weird quesiton aye, but really think about it i always wanted to live in the black and white days realisticily speaking duh their was color back then but no color cameras get my drift. what scheme of colors would you like to live in? i am all black and white if it was up to me i would color everything like bedroom, bathroom, kitchen, dining room, entire house in a sihloutee of black and white. but contrast with shades of gray here and there and spark a bit of red to liven up the place. what would you want ?…

welli the day was quite marvelous, my pops and lil lil sister of 4 years old and i went to the beach today, had an adventure my sis cuz its her first time going to the beach. i am guessing she will not forget today. we put our toes in the freezing cold water, splashed and laughed and threw rocks into the ocean. it was beautiful but too crowded. many people apparently planned to go to the beach today of all days. it was not secluded as it was last time maybe because this time i went at 12 and last week i went their at 8. i prefer to rise early and watch the shore peacefully without the disdain and noise of the peeps around the place, grilling food and making the beach smell like smoke. but all ends well in the end. we had a blast, but the other sis’s felt the need to sleep than to wake up and walk along the beach. oh well, its a beautiful day i hope nothing spoils it.

well, this the the second post i did today but unfortunately the first one was deleted when my pc again mysteriously restarted. i guess you can call this pc a bird flu infected pc. its got a virus most likely and has a mind of its own whenever it cares to restart it does. well i made another pic in paint but i doubt it looks great, however the emotion i wanted to inflict isnt well shown, i guess i should use the pencil pad thing rather than the mouse which is hard to maintain in stokes. or should i just stick with pencils and paper. what do you think?…:P by the way the words arent mine at all in the pic their part of a songs lyrics, didnt want to take credit for those beautiful words, the song is also beautiful.

Someone Must Get Hurt

Feb
23
2006
Posted at: 10:06 pm
Filed under : Uncategorized
Comments (2) »

i did this drawing on paint, you know the paint we all used to goof around with when we were small. how do you like it is it something or just nothing at all. and i duno do you think you will appreicate it if i do more of these because i love to do them. i think this makes me unique im not a photoshop girl or the all tech-freak i just enjoy to draw whether on paper or on the computer. does this show talent or just simple boredom. comments are appreicated. ;P

Its Cuz Of These Things

Feb
22
2006
Posted at: 11:51 pm
Filed under : Uncategorized
Comments (6) »

listen to this song and tell me what you think of it, click on tear you apart, listen to it and then to broken promises. do any of you think they rock or …? i think they rock and love them.
www.myspace.com/shewantsrevenge

neeways away from that and back to this, nothin much is new except well everything has been going wrong and when that happens, it seems that you get a feeling of heart burn in your heart well thats what i get with all this destruction in this blah blah. i guess no one wants to hear of that. well finally tonite is just the start of the begining of relaxation from school but i think that wont last long since once we get back i have 2 tests. haha isnt that something to look forward to.

well i guess i have lost my touch in writing because i seem to be in the dark room, nothin i can think of to write about. how sad. oh well. i guess i have nothing to say. what is your opinion of someone you come across who just simply listens to what you have to say rather than blab like hell to you instead of simply listen and observe? is that something bad or is it just rare in people? i dont know, i find it rare and extinct. i would rather be the person listening than the one talking but if i have something to say i will not wait for your cue, i will blurt it out and say it straightforward without going this way or that way.

i guess i should go to sleep, since i am quite tired from this hectic week of i duno too much. i guess this is what i have to say from this day i would rather be engrossed in a novel rather than wonder and think about that and this and what if and whys etc. wouldnt you care to lose yourself in a novel than in the confines of your mind. haha that came out quite nicely. well i would love anyones feedback. 😛

Dont Mind What I Say

Feb
22
2006
Posted at: 3:21 pm
Filed under : Uncategorized
Comments (3) »

I HATE SOMEONE ITS AS SIMPLE AS THAT. u know who you r or should i elaborate. 🙁

Thats How It Should Be

Feb
21
2006
Posted at: 4:09 pm
Filed under : Uncategorized
Comments (1) »

Tears are stinging these eyes
Its because of you i dread your lies
I face them every single day
We pass each other down the hallway
But have we really passed each other
Or is it you who has passed me
Did you have no care to stop and
Simply say something to me
These dreams i saw within your eyes
Now have become yet another reason for my cries
Walk away is what i have to do
I must never allow myself to get to you
Maybe this was written for us
Goodbye forgotten at least i tried
But i still want to tear you apart.
-dandoona 🙂

nice poem or is it so cliche, i wrote it and what are your opinions or never mind….neeways i guess i should start studying for that test i have tomorrow i’m guessing that from here till next week everyday will be hectic and sleepless. its just sad how i dont have comments on the previous better posts i have written, i guess that the way its going to be. the ugly, boring ones are commented on and the others are simply left alone. “you leave me devasted everytime”.