You entertained me with lies. And that is a distinct reason, to why I have failed. As it was, I failed to save you. What could I have done? You refused a million and added to one. You refused to confide. You are actually bitter than life. As you ended, you stated false truths. You verified the reasons to why I lied to you. You said, life was life. Love me more. I love you less. But I always loved you. And in the end, that was one to a million reasons we were forced to end.

I imagined a fairytale with an abrupt end. An end, to our lie. I imagined less of seeing you. I did not think it would last this long. It lasted a minute from an hour of our day. I realized these feelings; they almost always eventually die, as we will someday. They fade as we grow up and apart. We realized yesterday that life is actually just life. But, you have changed. So whose to say this life you speak of will always remain a life.

As you become this someone else. As you mold the broken pieces, as you weld the clay to me, I rest to remain the very same. No change awakens my emotions, nothing at all. I will let you know I am growing more beautiful from the inside. It was you who uglied my appearance. It was you who disdained my worth? Who acknowledged nothing of who I was, who I am, of why you very well fell in love with me, if ever you did fall?

But as the hours draw our silence, and as I stared into your eyes, you again say, but that is life. Well life is worth living away from you. Far away, and miles will keep us far apart. This is life. Just life. As it happened, and as you did, I too will move on. I hope you do the very same, but my hope has already been granted as you have done so only a year and ten days ago. Do you know, I will always love you for what you have done. This experience of a journey awakening our moments of lies. Do you also know I no longer expect honest truths, because those lies of yours will always rest to remain so beautiful.

And that is life for you.

I will only tell you four words
It makes no difference.
It apparently never has…

See a mile,
A sea is in the distance.
I will be seeing you.
Different.

Contradiction.
Contradict.
It is all different.

I will plaster my smiles.
Please call them fake.
Whisper words.
Mere lies you should take.

It was all supposed to be
Quite different.
I really do appreciate the distance.

See the ocean,
It understands
My bed of roses never died.
Its you that is dead.

It makes the difference.

Understanding reality
in the light of grey skies,
on a stormy April night.

I no longer heart you.

Sadly, I no longer heart anyone.

I give up.
My heart hurts too much.
I can no longer make any more excuses.
I am heartbroken.

My words are imprisoned.
They are just empty words.
I wanted to tell you.
.
But you love some other,
And that tears me apart.
Into delicate pieces.
My intricate chaos.

Life is going on.
And I’m still dead inside.

I will let the silence
Kill these feelings,
I will let you be.
See you in a world of beautiful worries.
See you within the memories.

Nobody has changed. Not you or me.
Sad, don’t you think?
It seems as if time is frozen,
and still you don’t possess the ability to pity me.

Your eyes tell stories.
Stories of lies untold.
Quiet honest, you never were.
No matter how I phrased your words,
it was never so.

Even as you painted the picture bright.
Your lies drew the blinds to dark.
And here I stand before you, I kindly refuse, to take this, and to take more.

This is no beautiful feeling. I want an end.
I would like an ending.
And yet, I have no illustration that we had a start.
Quite frankly, we never did.

We just spoke with finite words, that had no meaning.
There is no glossary, no dictionary for my words.
I’m left without any.
I only have a broken heart.

Honest truth,

Sometimes (your) lies are beautiful…

You don’t know,
I doubt I knew.
I don’t care,
I doubt you do.
I doubted you.
A blessing it was,
Without caring,
Without pledging,
Without words,
Without a heart.
And so it was,
Quite believable,
Your lies.
My lovely,
Delectable,
Unusual.

Your beautiful.

Love your Distance.
End my doubts.
I prefer not caring,
You stole my heart.
A lie of beautiful,
I don’t know.
I gave up on you.
I care

No more.

I give no damn.

Over.

بيني و بينك غربه كنهاالليل
ما عاد يذكرنا مكان التلاقي
إرحل مع النسيان و برحل مع سهيل
ما عاد في قلبي لك اليوم باقي

ذللت قلبي للصبر معك تذليل
يا غربة أيامي و كل إحتراقي
ذكراك في دنيا و ذكراي في ويل
ِ عيش العذاب و ذوق طعم الفراق

عبدالكريم عبدالقادر

—

Addicted to words that have no meaning. Addicted to feelings that are never mutual. Addicted to the past that is unreachable.

In the simplest of terms,

I am actually Addicted to you.

Meow.

Still in mourning, dead fish.

I love(d) you.

.These are my Meaningless words.

.Please understand.

Confused, I cannot silence my unspoken words.

They long to speak, to voice the truth.

Changed, you really have.

I would like to tell you a secret, I miss the past.

I miss the reality – the kingdom of my dreams.

I miss those days,

all that is now simply is

dwelling in the restless nights.

I miss me.

I miss you.

I miss.

Here;s to an end.

&
Here’s to my dishonest truths, I actually did

not tell you the honest truth.

I still do…

kil yoom negool ilyoom..tet7agag ila7laam, ya galbi yaa ma7room

min far7at il ayaam tahaat 5a6aaweena minho bedinyaa ilyoom y5eth bayadeena??

kil yoom negool ilyoom, min ye9deg ile7saas wain ilwefaa yaa naas? kil shai metqayer

fee 3alaaam i7ayer!! wibninte’6er win5aaf i6oool ilente-6aar..o mahmaa 7a9aal?

maa ten6eefi sham3aaat amal!

abdulmajeed abdulla

Happy

Happy

Happy

I love you.

Thank you…..

It’s  a truly wonder-filled birthday.

Nineteen candles to blow out.

Nineteen years worn out.

Nineteen.

Nine.

Teen.

I love you.

More than words.

I’m confused.

Turning somewhat of an odd years older.

I dont know – i don’t care anymore.

Explain this, is it alright to feel no feeling?

Indifferent.

Indifference – nothing changes.

make my year,

please me.

If I smiled at you, you should see, that my eyes tell a story. A smile wasnt its ending. It’s plastered fake.

Realize.

You don’t mind, care.

My pointless smiles.

I know what’s real now,

I know your truth.

Here’s to my plastered smile,

I saved for you.

I miss my old self.

I miss me.

So I’m back to my dull reality. Far away, across the seas, near the Atlantic and I’m simply waiting. Waiting to fall into Life’s uneventful cycle.

Here’s to the nights.Warm weather. I miss the cold.

Here’s to you.

I’m completely satisfied in knowing, that you don’t care.

Better.

The year 2007….

My story was filled with disappointing passion, appreciated pain, and forgive-less lust; I fell in love. But its blind. I breathed in, and now I’m breathe-less. It fails to notice. It failed. You know better, you should see it in my eyes, I see-less. Its called appreciating Life.

You learn to live, with the heartburns.
Square one, you hurt; I exist.
Square two, I hurt; you noticed.
So when’s the heart attacked?…

Now..?

I have no key – to imprison you. What force can I use to set terms against you? I really wanted to keep it quiet, but I really wanted to tell you so, but my tongue was bleeding, and my lips were bruised. I won’t speak (now), unless spoken to.

A year has failed to change what the last spurred. But Life is still everlasting in beautiful. As the year ends, I ended to. I ended what failed to start; I never truly wanted it to exist. But now I know better. You know I knew. I realized that you’re capable of breathing too.

So.?

I adjourn a path alone.
It’s better.
Almost always.

You learn to live, within the moments. You take what you get, not what your given. You take words, you constrain their definitions to elude the honest truth. You pretend your happiness, and sometimes, you actually fool yourself.

Cosi Bella.

If I were you, I’d think that Your Battlefield is talking as though she was crazy in love. But honestly, I am talking with the mindset of being crazy in loving Life. If you learn to love life with the pain that it fails to relieve, with the hurt it fails to band aide, with the rejection it dismays, then that is as close as you could ever get to really loving Life. Remember, we all have expiration dates…;(

I don’t think I exist in your world
&
You can’t understand what you do to me.
I can’t think.
I can’t speak.
I can’t hear.
& If I could,
I’d think of you, I’d speak three words,
& unfortunately,
I won’t be able to hear your voice.
Forget it.
Forget you.
It was never anything.
Don’t worry..
It will go away, give me a few days,
A month and a year.

….